I Believe

Another blog post idea I found was to write about ten things that you believe. Working on this post over the past week or so has really made me pause and think about just that. There are hundreds of things I could say I believe in: that the grass is green or that chocolate is a God-given gift, but are those truly the ten most important things that I want to talk about? Not really. Through writing this post, I've learned more about what my priorities in life are.

I believe that we are all children of God.

God created each and every one of us individually. Tall, short, big, small, blue eyes, brown eyes, red hair, blonde. We're all our own separate person with our own strengths and weaknesses, desires, hopes, and quirks. God made us that way on purpose, and no two people are exactly alike.

I believe in love.
Love is eternal, because it comes from God. His love is without end, because HE is without end. Every day we have opportunities to show that love to those around us, in small or huge ways. Everyone on this planet looks for that person who they want to spend the rest of forever with, and that desire is God-given. We are "programmed" to love others, romantically or otherwise.

I believe in respect.
When I worked at McDonald's for nine months, I was extremely surprised and hurt by how rudely I was treated by customers on a daily basis. They assumed that because I was working in the fast food industry, I must be a complete idiot with no future. It was very hard for me to continue seeing myself as a decent human being when I was constantly being treated like garbage. 

Respect is so so powerful. Just treating someone with kindness, patience, or an understanding attitude can make a world of difference. When we treat others the way we want to be treated (which is HOPEFULLY with respect), we are helping to make the world just a teeny tiny bit better. Respect should not have to be earned, it should be given freely until someone proves that they do not deserve it. And even then, we should still try our best to treat that person kindly. 

I believe that we are each responsible for our own destiny.

Our lives will be what we decide. No matter our circumstances, our attitude towards our struggles or times of success will be what make us who we are. It doesn't matter if we graduated at the top of our class or became the president, or if we dropped out of high school and worked at McDonald's our entire earthly existence. There are some people who have it all, and still seem SO unhappy with their lives. And there are others who have practically nothing and are the happiest people in the world. We make our own destiny because destiny is not what happens to us, but what we do with our circumstances.

I believe in the power of service.

Whether we're rescuing a kitten from a tree, helping an old lady cross the street, or simply smiling at a stranger we walk by, service is powerful. Not only for those we help, but for ourselves. When I'm having a bad day or upset about something, doing an act of kindness for someone else immediately replaces that devastating emotion with joy. SERVE OTHERS! 

I believe in the importance of capturing and preserving memories.

Anyone that knows me well knows how obsessed I am with taking photos and scrapbooking them. But what some people probably don't know is that I also keep a journal, which I write in daily. I'm also heavily involved in family history work (genealogy). In our lifetime, keeping record of daily occurrences has become 1000x easier because of the internet and specifically social media. It makes me smile when I think about how 20-30 years from now, if I want my kids to know what I was really like, I can just find my Facebook or Instagram page and show them. They'll be able to get a real idea of what I was like at their age, instead of just looking at pictures or hearing stories secondhand from another relative or even from me. They'll get the 100% truth of what was going on inside my head when I was seventeen, or thirteen, or whatever. They could really know me, as a real person; not just "Mom", if they wanted to. 

While social media is incredible, I also believe that keeping a journal is extremely important. I love being able to go back and read over things that upset me or made me happy as far back as middle school, and laugh at how ridiculous, or sometimes astonishingly intuitive, I was at that age. We forget the little day to day occurrences and take them for granted, and when we can look back on what we've been through it gives us more of an appreciation for the lives we've created for ourselves.

I believe in forgiveness.

I'm only 22 years old and I'm sure the words "I'm sorry" have escaped my lips more than a million times. I can only imagine how many more times throughout my life I will have to utter those same words. And I have heard them hundreds of times from other people--family, friends, coworkers, etc. 

Forgiveness is a very difficult thing, and it is especially difficult when we have to forgive someone who has not asked us to, due to their belief that they were in the right, being completely unaware of making an offense, or several other reasons. Forgiveness requires humility, selflessness, and patience. But without forgiveness our lives would be very one-dimensional and somewhat pointless. At some point in my life, I have had to forgive the people I love most, usually multiple times. Without that forgiveness I would not be able to move on and continue loving them and making memories with them. Without forgiveness, the people we love would be constantly replaced by new people until THEY did something offensive, and so on. We would never develop life-long relationships with people, or grow to know them on a deeper level as the years progressed. Forgiveness is essential.

I believe in learning.

Coming from a future teacher, this is probably not surprising at all. But I believe in the importance of constantly learning new things and improving our talents, whether that's a sport, new cooking recipes, or working towards our desired profession. Our minds are not meant to stop growing once we hit a certain age! God designed us in such a way that we should always be changing and growing, learning from our mistakes and gaining more knowledge. What we learn in this life is one of the few things we'll be able to take with us after death, so we should gain as much knowledge as we can. 

I believe in cultivating a positive self-image.

Every woman, no matter what she looks like, is beautiful. Tall, short, curvy, skinny, you name it. Every woman is beautiful no matter what her size, even though the media tells us otherwise. Body positivity is something every woman (and some men) struggle with; it's a serious problem in our current society. Negative self-image can lead to depression, eating disorders, and other psychological or physical problems. We need to work on seeing ourselves as the amazing people that we really are!

I believe in creativity.

As an extremely crafty person, I LOVE creating things. I think it's important to do something creative every day. That could be scrapbooking, or painting, or just doodling on your notebook page during a lecture in class. We all have the power to create things on a daily basis and we should take advantage of it.


What do you believe?

Spring Hits Rexburg

This week was our first full week of Spring! It started off pretty strangely...since it SNOWED on Tuesday! Monday night I remember having a dream that it had snowed, and when Jake and I woke up the next morning it was coming down pretty steadily. Maybe I'm psychic!

By the end of the week things had warmed up though, and on Friday I took Brandon to the skate park again since it was so beautiful outside. A woman brought her son to the park, along with an Australian shepherd puppy who she said was about 11 weeks old. I got to hold him and play with him and I was in HEAVEN. It was a great day!! Never take your pets for granted people, cuz I am majorly missing having a dog around to play with anytime I want.

This week I also worked on developing some more of my talents. I finished a few pieces of embroidery, and also started learning how to do calligraphy. I don't have those fancy calligraphy pens that "real" calligraphy requires, but I learned how to do it the cheater's way and I've been having a lot of fun with it. (I'm selling some of these in my Etsy shop now...so take a look!)

I'm also SUPER excited about my plant!! This morning before church I asked Jake to water it, and he mentioned that there was some green showing. He then proceeded to laugh at me for a good five minutes because of how excited I got. I ran over to the window and looked into my little flower pot, and there's some little green shoots slowly making their way through the dirt! I didn't kill the plant before it had a chance to grow, and I'm so excited! Hopefully they continue growing and I actually get some flowers soon. 

At church Jake and I sat behind a family with a little boy who's probably around one, and he was the cutest little guy EVER. He had a little toy rubber duck that he kept throwing at Jake, and thought it was the funniest thing in the world. We got a kick out of playing with him.

This Week's Spiritual Thought

Saturday was the General Woman's Broadcast, and I was so glad I had a chance to watch that and listen to the speakers. It was so awesome hearing from some of the women leaders of our church, and the two video presentations that were also shown really moved me. My favorite quote from the broadcast was from Sister Bonnie L. Oscarson, who said: "If it is the Lord's plan, it should be OUR plan." I LOVE that! It's a simple concept, but I feel like the most simple ideas are usually the ones that hit home with me the deepest.  

Music

Music is one of the most powerful things we have on earth. It's something that brings people together, it calms the storms of life, and makes the enjoyable times even better or more memorable. Just hearing a song can take you back to ten years ago, or remind you of a specific person or place. I found a writing prompt that asked for one song that defined each time period of your life (childhood, teen years, adulthood) and I thought it was a fun idea. So here are some of the songs that have narrated my life, as I've grown up:

Childhood: Blue (Da Ba Dee) by Eiffel 65

I have a very distinct memory of being in my friend Kaylynn's car when we were in first grade, listening to this song turned up WAY too loud for our little ears, jumping up and down on the back seat. It's just one of those memories that's stuck with me, for whatever reason.

High School: Dance Dance by Fall Out Boy

The first time I heard this song was at a friend's birthday party my freshmen year of high school, when we decided to sing karaoke to it. I didn't know the lyrics yet, but tried to sing along with the group since I didn't want to be left out, and I remember going home that night and listening to it over and over so I could get the lyrics down and never be embarrassed like that again. To this day, Fall Out Boy is still one of my favorite bands.

College Years: Happily Ever After by He Is We

A friend of mine was a huge fan of this band, and our little group started listening to He Is We and all fell in love. We all had a wide variety of taste in music, but He Is We was a band that we could all agree on loving. I ended up getting to see them in concert, and got to meet the guitarist and talk with him for a few minutes after their set, which was AWESOME of course.

My friends Heather, Katie, Rachel and I with the guitarist of He Is We

Marriage: Forever Like That by Ben Rector
This was our first dance at our wedding, and since we've only been married six months, it's still the perfect song to describe our relationship. I can't wait to find more songs like this one :)

Your Guardian Angel by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

I first heard this song in tenth grade, and have been in love with it ever since. A friend learned to play it on the guitar and sang it for me as a surprise on New Years' Eve of 2008, and I walked down the aisle to an instrumental version of this song at my ring ceremony. I'm constantly struggling to learn a version on the piano that does this song justice, but I have yet to succeed with that...hopefully sometime in the near future I will! This song will always have a special place in my heart.

Hopefully this post has inspired some of you to look back over your life, and think of songs that match important time periods as you've grown up. What are some songs that are significant to you?

Copycat Cinnabon Cinnamon Rolls

**Unless otherwise stated, I take NO credit for the creation of these recipes! I can cook, but I'm not usually inclined to experiment on my own!**

Copycat Cinnabon Cinnamon Rolls

I found this recipe on jocooks.com

Dough
1 1/2 teaspoons yeast
1 cup warm milk
1/2 cup granulated sugar
1/3 cup margarine/butter
1 teaspoon salt
2 eggs
4 cups flour

Filling
1 cup packed brown sugar
3 tablespoons cinnamon
1/3 cup margarine/butter, softened

Cream Cheese Icing
6 tablespoons butter/margarine
1 1/2 cups powdered sugar
1/4 cup cream cheese
1/2 teaspoon vanilla
1/4 teaspoon salt

For the rolls, dissolve the yeast in the warm milk and mix together. Set aside.

In the bowl of a mixer, mix sugar, butter, salt, eggs, and flour and mix well. Pour the yeast/milk mixture into the bowl as well, and using the dough hook, mix well.

Place dough in into an oiled bowl, cover and let rise in a warm place about 1 hour or until the dough has doubled in size.

Roll the dough onto a lightly floured surface, until it is approximately 16" long by 12" wide. It should be about 1/4" thick. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

To make filling, mix ingredients together and spread over dough. OR you can spread the butter on the dough first, and then sprinkle the brown sugar/cinnamon mixture over the butter. I wish I had done it this way, since spreading the gooey mixture was REALLY difficult.

Working carefully, from the long edge, roll the dough down to the bottom edge. Cut the dough into 1 1/2" sections (this might be easier using a piece of floss instead of a knife), and place into a lightly greased baking pan. Cover with a damp towel and allow to rise another half hour or until they double in size.

Bake for 20 minutes or until light golden brown. Cooking time can vary greatly, so start with 15 minutes and check every 5 minutes after that.

While the rolls are baking, make the icing. Mix all ingredients together and beat well with an electric mixer until light and fluffy. When the rolls are done, spread with the icing and THEN allow to cool.

THE VERDICT: These were SO good! A+ for sure. Next time, if I make them just for Jake and I, I'll cut the recipe in half since this made quite a few rolls. However, this would be a good size for any group of 4-8 people!

My New Job

Based on the title of this post, you're probably pretty excited for me. Or you SHOULD be, if you love me!! Cuz that's right...I've got a job! One that actually gives me hours! Not many, but I'm grateful for it all the same. 

Last week I was on the Rexburg Jobs Facebook group, scrolling through peoples' posts, and saw a woman had posted looking for someone to watch her nephew for a few hours in the afternoon most weekdays. It was almost a month old, but no one had commented on it, so I sent her a message. Turns out she was still looking for someone! Monday night we met up and talked, and I met her 11 year old nephew, Brandon. He just needs someone supervising him while he's out skateboarding or doing something in the neighborhood, so it's not a very demanding job, and will work perfectly with my availability once my classes start at the end of April. 

Tuesday I had my first day, and let me tell you I am STILL exhausted from it. Brandon wanted to go to the skate park, which I was totally fine with. I asked him where it was and he told me, and it didn't sound too far so when he asked if I wanted to ride his bike or his scooter to get there, I just said I'd take the scooter. I WISH WISH WISH I had said "Hey, let's just drive there!" Because not only has it been about 8 years since I rode a scooter, but the ride was two miles. On mostly bumpy asphalt or extremely cracked sidewalk. And that was just getting TO the park...we also had to ride home. By the time we got there I was out of breath and ready to just plop down and pass out. And the ride home was no easier! But at least Brandon had a good time, and he thought it was so cool that I lived "near Disneyland". He had lots of questions for me about what Disneyland was like, what my favorite ride was, etc. It was pretty cute seeing him get so excited.

I also worked Wednesday, and that time we DROVE to the skate park, so I guess at least I'm learning from my mistakes! We also played some basketball, which was another thing I haven't done in a while...and I'm sure I made the kid feel good about himself since he beat me of course haha.


Friday Jake got off work early, and we went grocery shopping together. It was really nice getting to spend an entire day together, even if we were just running errands. Even boring stuff is more fun when you have someone entertaining to do it with! That evening we had dinner and rented the movie The Maze Runner through RedBox, and it was pretty great!

Saturday Jake had work from 9-5, so I stayed home and did stuff around the house as usual. I also made my first attempt at cinnamon rolls from scratch, and they turned out pretty great! I just wish I'd thought to cut the recipe in half, because now we have WAY too many to eat before they go bad! I also planted my "garden". We got supplies at the Dollar Tree (yay cheap!) on Friday while we were out shopping, and it was fun for me to plant something, especially since I can't even remember the last time I planted anything. Hopefully flowers will grow in my little pot! Once Jake came home from work, we relaxed and spent time just being together.

This Week's Spiritual Thought

This week I was looking through some quote pictures I had saved to my phone, and I came across this one. I LOVE this quote because not only is it a clever play on words that the English major in me appreciates, but it says a lot about how society views those who serve. There's a fine line between humility and being self-deprecating, and in our society people have started romanticizing those who see themselves in a negative way. Just because we serve others doesn't mean we have to hate ourselves!

Chastity + Intimacy

WARNING: This post is pretty blunt. Not as blunt as it could be, but it's definitely more honest and frank than anything I've ever posted before. I'm aware that there could be some negative backlash to this post, and I'm taking this opportunity to say: 

keep it to yourself if you don't agree with me.

Posting this took a lot of courage on my part, + I don't need any negative feedback or rude/condescending comments from people who disagree with what I've posted, or don't think it should have been shared in such a public place. 

I also am not claiming that all church leaders teach things in this way. As I say later on in the post, I personally have had positive experiences with most of this information. In this post, I am referring specifically to the negative situations I have heard about from friends, which are thankfully more rare than the positive. BUT just because they are rare, does not mean we should sweep them under the rug + not talk about them. They need to be addressed.

This is the second part of a two-part post that has been on my mind over the past few months, but I've been struggling with how to get my thoughts out. A post by my good friend Tiffanie on her blog, which can be found here, finally gave me the brain juice/courage to move forward with my thoughts. So shoutout to Tiff + a big thanks for helping my brain work properly! I'm so pleased by the positive response I received from the first part of this post on Modesty, + hope that this will receive equal attention.

Chastity + Intimacy

I've had several girlfriends who have told me that they had leaders growing up who would give lessons in which a woman's virginity was compared to a flower, and when it was lost, that flower wilted and died, becoming useless. When asked about these lessons, young men were shocked to learn about this metaphor. They had not been taught about chastity in the same way at all. 

So my first question, to which I personally have no answer, is: 

Why are girls being taught in this way, but not the boys? Is chastity not as important for men as it is for women?

I'm sure if anyone were to ask someone in the church whether chastity was of equal importance for both genders, they would wholeheartedly agree. Men and women are required to live the same standards in the gospel, from not drinking alcohol to having a charitable heart, and of course that would include remaining sexually pure.

Chastity is not supposed to be a sexist concept. So why are we treating it as one? 

Another one of my friends told me:  

"My YW leaders basically were teaching that having sex was a sin instead of 

teaching that it's a sin to have sex when you are NOT married cause when you are 

married it's actually really important and sacred and beautiful. I know plenty of 

people who are terrified by the idea of having sex when they get married or people 

that got married and felt like since they weren't virgins anymore, they lost almost all 

their value."

Thankfully I had good experiences learning about the law of chastity and was never made to 

feel demeaned or dirty, but hearing this information from friends of mine who had grown 

up in the church and been taught these things at a very young age really scared me.

To quote Tiff's post titled "Lace & Pretty Things":

"If you're anything like me, you grow up with this idea that sex is a no-no-no, and once you get married, all of your family and friends, (the same ones who told you to save yourself and refrain for so long) now support your "new found sexual identity" as a go-go-go. It's SIMPLY FRUSTRATING...I remember when we got engaged, how suddenly everyone who feels so inclined tries to start having these 'sex prep' talks with you that in my opinion, should have been happening throughout the entire duration of your life, not just a week or month before you say I do."

When I read this, I nearly jumped off the couch in

 excitement. FINALLY there was someone who understood

what had been going through my mind for the past six

months, and had the courage to say it! 

Sex is a taboo topic in the LDS culture, and probably in a lot of cultures in general, because it's a big, scary, intimidating, awkward topic. I'm sure that nothing scares a parent more than realizing that the time has come for you to give the "birds and the bees" lesson to their child. I do not in any way look forward to the day when I have to have that discussion with my own child, as I'm sure it will be excruciatingly painful for both of us.

HOWEVER.

That is no excuse for the lack of information we receive as we become adults, get engaged to someone, and prepare for marriage. We are taught about the sacredness of marriage, the difficulties we will experience as newlyweds and even later on after we're "well-seasoned" married folks. 

But we are not taught about what is supposed to happen 

after we drive away from our wedding reception, probably in 

a car that has soda cans tied to the bumper and writing all 

over the car windows proclaiming "JUST MARRIED". 

I'm not saying that parents should sit us down and explain the nitty gritty details of what is going to occur. But I think that people need to be educated more about what comes after marriage, in terms of intimacy. Whether we learn it in a "Preparing for Marriage" class through church, or a tastefully written book, we need more education on the subject. 

Along with this idea of more education, I think we need to be more understanding of those who are looking for answers. I've had several friends going through the process of preparing for marriage, and they were made to feel embarrassed if they had questions relating to intimacy. If they attempted research in the form of a book or even online, they were made to feel ashamed of their desire to understand and be prepared. 

We need to support couples who are preparing to be 

married, and make them feel that their questions are valid 

and appropriate, as well as welcome. 

There's a commercial out right now that jokingly uses the phrase "Better that he learns it here than on the streets!" I think that concept definitely applies here. 

If our loved ones or friends are not comfortable coming to us with their questions, where will they get their information? Possibly from somewhere that does not have the right answers.

Happy Birthday Mom!

Today is my mom's 30th birthday! I thought I'd write a post about my mom, because she's so awesome and deserves to be recognized for all her hard work.

As the oldest of four kids, it's thanks to me that my mom became a mom (you're welcome!) And since I was such a fabulous child, she decided to have three more great kids. I'm sure being a mom isn't an easy job, and when I become one I'll probably wonder how my mom managed to take care of four kids and not go insane.

Here are some of the memories I have with my mom:

-My parents might not believe this, but I remember when Mom and Dad told me that I was going to be a big sister. I was playing in my room and they came in, and Mom said she had something very exciting to tell me. So naturally, I was VERY excited. Mom said "You're going to be a big sister!" And I said "That's it?" I remember being very disappointed with this "boring" news.

-Playing dress up with the costumes she wore during her teenage years as a ballet dancer. I feel guilty for probably ripping those outfits to shreds, I wore them so often, but she always let me. I'm sure it was funny for her to see a 5 year old prancing around the house in a leotard much too big for her. 

-Up until I was in high school, Mom handmade almost every single Halloween costume for Sarah and I. We always got to decide what we wanted to be, and we could look through the pattern books with her if we wanted, but I usually didn't have the attention span for that.

-My mom working long hours to make me a prom dress my junior year of high school. We spent lots of time looking through pattern books at Joanns, and picking out fabric. To this day, I like looking at photos from that year of prom and knowing that my dress is one of a kind: the sleeves of the dress are from one pattern, and the main body of the dress another. I learned later on that making clothes together was something my mom always did with my Nana, and it was neat getting to experience that with her as well.

-Watching my mom and Alex play "Just Dance" on the Wii, and recording it on my phone. That video made GREAT blackmail material for a while!

-our road trip up to Idaho in September of 2013, just the two of us, so we could get me settled in for my first semester at BYU-Idaho. Saying goodbye that day was very hard, since it was the first time I'd be away from my mom for longer than a week at church Girl's Camp.

-Laughing with her and William at funny pictures or videos we would find online. I love making my mom laugh, so I probably spent more time than I should trying to find something that would give her the giggles.

-Going wedding dress shopping for my wedding. I'd given up on finding anything modest in California and figured we'd just have to shop in Utah, when Mom found a place 3 hours away from our home that had dresses. We drove out there and found my dress! And drove back again to pick it up a month before the wedding.

Some other things about my mom...

She supported my love of reading. I was almost always curled up with a book in my room, and she rarely tried to pull me away and get me to do "something else." She would drive me to the library before I got my license, or get me gift cards for a bookstore on holidays. Now, when she needs a book recommendation, she usually comes to me! So I think it worked out well for her in the end ;)

She was never embarrassing when I brought a boy home. She wasn't that mom who would whip out the horrible naked baby photos or start talking about a horrific memory from my childhood when I brought someone home; she was always welcoming and polite, and usually cracked a joke or two to make the guy laugh.

She treated me like an adult, once I was old enough. I can't remember ever thinking that she was treating me like I was a baby and never let me do anything fun; she always believed I was responsible enough to make my own decisions.

My mom is awesome.

Happy Birthday, Mom!

A Week of Love

As I'm looking back over the week to write this, I guess I would say that this has been a week of romantic acts between Jake and I, from small things to big.

On Tuesday while Jake was at work, I was reading the third Divergent book (which is pretty great by the way) I turned a page and found a note from Jake inside. It made me smile (and might have made me even tear up a bit) and it was just a great little reminder of how lucky I am to be with such an awesome guy, who takes the time to leave me something that he knows will make me smile.

On Wednesday, March 11th, it was the anniversary of the night that Jake proposed to me. I can't believe it's been a year since that happened! I wore my engagement ring all day in honor of the occasion, and it was fun having my "rock" back on my finger as a physical reminder of how far Jake and I have come since last March. That night when Jake came home from work, I had decorated the living room with some lit tealight candles and set out a blanket for us on the carpet so that we could have a "romantic indoor picnic." It was so fun seeing Jake's face light up when he saw what I'd done. Marriage is an AWESOME way to develop your ability to serve others!

On Friday, Jake had the day off of work and we enjoyed spending the whole day together. We watched lots of scary movies, which we both love. But I always laugh because we'll start one and once it gets scary, Jake says "Why did you let us watch this?! Who picked a scary movie?!" And then the next time we go to watch a movie, he still picks a scary one, and the cycle continues. What a goober. 

That night, Jake told me he'd be right back and I said "Ok, where are you going?" He replied with "Don't worry about it! Don't worry! I'll...I'll be back!" So needless to say, I was kinda suspicious. I love my husband to death but he's not very good at keeping secrets from me! He came back about half an hour later with some pizza for us for our date night. It was sweet, but I've been teasing him about his inability to "cover his tracks" all weekend! On Saturday morning Jake woke me up as usual and, as always, I wasn't exactly pleased. I felt pretty bad when I opened my eyes and saw him sitting next to me on the bed with a plate. He had made me breakfast and brought it to me, that sweetheart!

I've received a TON of positive feedback on my post about modesty, and the last time I checked it had over 100 views, which is very exciting for a small-time blogger like me! Please continue to spread the word, and stay tuned for the second part of my post sometime this coming week!

This Week's Spiritual Thought

This week when I was reading during Sacrament Meeting, I read Psalms 111:3+4. 

"His work is honourable and glorious; and his righteousness endureth for ever. He hath made his wonderful works to be remembered: the Lord is gracious and full of compassion." 

As I read those verses, it suddenly struck me that WE are God's work. We, as children of God, were created by Him. So when he says that his work is honourable and glorious, and that he made his wonderful works to be remembered, God is talking about us. This gave me so much comfort because I'm still so sad about losing my Nana, and knowing that God created each of His children with the intent that they will be remembered, just really brought me a lot of peace. God doesn't want me to forget about my Nana, because He created her individually and loves her, and knows how much she meant to those she left behind.

Modesty

This is the first part of a two-part post that has been on my mind over the past few months, but I've been struggling with how to get my thoughts out. While this post doesn't relate completely, it was a post by my good friend Tiffanie on her blog, which can be found here, that finally gave me the brain juice/courage to move forward with my thoughts. So shoutout to Tiff + a big thanks for helping my brain work properly!

Let me start by saying that I think dressing modestly is extremely important. I believe that modest dress is a way of showing respect for the body that God has given each of us. 

Our bodies are temples, and they should be treated with as much care and respect as temples would be. 

I've always tried to dress as though I had already gone through the temple and started wearing garments, partly because I didn't want to have to completely redo my wardrobe once that happened, and because I wanted to show my body respect. One of the small things I take pride in is being able to look back over photos from high school dances and prom, or just random days out with friends, and see that my clothes never really "changed" from the way that I dress now, after having gone through the temple.

Recently, LDS Living came out with this article and I was really impressed by what was discussed. I highly recommend that you read it before you continue reading my post, since doing so will definitely help to give you more context/understanding as to what I'm talking about here.

While modesty has been something that I've felt very strongly about for as long as I can remember, and hasn't really been an issue for me, the deeper issue that the article discussed was something that resonated powerfully with me. So I've decided to add my thoughts on the matter, in the hopes of bringing the issue to the attention of my friends and family (the only ones who care to read my blog, since I have yet to achieve "internet fame.")

The article on LDS Living had five points they made about teaching youth modesty in a more effective way. Their second comment was: 

"Refrain from blaming girls for 'putting bad thoughts into boys' heads.'" 

This was the particular message that struck me, because of my own experiences with this issue. Growing up as a member of the LDS faith, I attended Young Women; the class for girls ages 12-18 that met for one hour on Sundays for a lesson, as well as mid-week for a spiritual meeting/fun activity. 

At these meetings, whenever modesty was discussed, we were always taught that it was our responsibility as girls/women to help control boys' thoughts and actions towards us and to keep them from having immoral feelings, caused by how we dressed. 

Don't get me wrong--I loved my leaders growing up, and I learned a LOT from them. But I didn't necessarily agree with everything they said.

This idea of girls being in control of guys' thoughts bothered, and still does bother me to this day, for three main reasons:

1. I could dress in a t-shirt and jeans and no one would bat an eye, but there might be one or two boys who found that type of outfit arousing. That meant I would be causing immoral thoughts in someone, based on my dress. BUT the way I was dressed was not inherently sexual or inappropriate at all, and generally accepted by many as being a "modest" outfit. I could dress in a giant shapeless smock, and still there COULD be someone who would find that outfit sexual.

2. When we were taught about modesty, our leaders constantly focused on it as being about what one chose to wear, not about how one chose to act. I knew several girls throughout middle school and high school who, though dressed modestly, acted in ways completely contrary to what modest dress is supposed to achieve. They were lewd and inappropriate, taking flirting to the extreme on several occasions. There were times when I would be at a church activity or at school and I would look over, see what these girls were doing, and literally cover my face because I could not stand to watch what was happening. But they were wearing a high-necked shirt and "not too tight" jeans, so that MUST mean their actions were ok, right? No. 

3. Boys are not treated the same way, in terms of modesty. They are taught not to wear clothing that's too tight or too baggy, yes, but what about tank tops or going shirtless? If girls are told to "cover up" so that boys don't feel uncomfortable, shouldn't boys do the same? Why is it acceptable for a girl to have a poster of some shirtless male celebrity on her wall, but boys are frowned upon for having a revealing poster of a woman?

When I was getting ready to leave for school in Idaho and met with my bishop (the president of our church group), on one occasion I brought up how we were taught this way in Young Women. He was astonished. My normally calm bishop grew extremely agitated VERY quickly, saying: 

"That is completely unacceptable. The boys have just as much responsibility for these issues as the girls do; it's not entirely up to you ladies."

Hearing that really surprised me, because it was the first person I had ever heard who disagreed with this idea of women being "responsible" for sexual situations, and I remember how I thought about it often after that.

I asked several of my friends for stories about issues involving modesty that they had experienced, and here were some of the replies I received:


"Last year I was at the EFY program and the stake's president wife told a group of my 
girls that they were being immodest (because they could see the girls' knees 
standing), and how they were dressing like 'prostitutes'."


"I came to church dressed super nicely and my skirt rode up while I 
was sitting. Standing it was to my knees. Keep in mind this was my 
first Sunday in a brand new ward. After Sunday school, the bishop's 
wife scolded me for my attire, told me the skirt should touch the 
ground while kneeling, and walked away. She never even introduced 
herself or asked my name. I didn't go back to that ward ever again."


"At EFY when I was 15, I was sent back to change twice because my dresses didn't 
touch the floor when I knelt down. The second dress I had worn the day before on 
the spiritual day, and no one had said anything, It was probably a couple of 
millimeters from touching the floor. It was humiliating, and they almost send me 
back a third time because there was a chunk of black lace that you could see my 
knees through. It was awful, and I hope they're better about it now."


These stories can be addressed by a combination of the other points made on the LDS Living article:

Teach youth to be sensitive and respectful of other people's interpretations and practices of modesty.

Focus on the doctrine of modesty, not just the specifics.

Teach youth to trust themselves and rely on the Holy Ghost when it comes to modesty.

These three points all circulate around one particular idea: agency. 

While I do not think a tube top and mini skirt is "modest", there are some forms of dress that church members disagree on: are leggings pants? Are cap sleeves modest? 

Youth are at an age where they're learning to make their own decisions about life, and some of those decisions should include what they wear. At some point in our early years, we reach a point where our mothers stop picking out our outfits. I remember in 4th grade going to school wearing a yellow shirt and stretchy purple butterfly pants, thinking that I looked great. And I'm sure my mom cringed when I walked out the door, but she let me make that decision on my own. 

The final point that was made, about teaching youth to rely on the Holy Ghost when it comes to modesty, is crucial. Some youth will feel closer to the Spirit dressing in one way, and some will need to wear shirts with higher necks, or longer skirts, to feel that same way.

In the end, we are taught not to judge others, including their manner of dress. Do not believe that just because someone is wearing something too revealing, too tight, too short, etc. that they are not close to the Spirit.

Cauliflower Chowder

**Unless otherwise stated, I take NO credit for the creation of these recipes! I can cook, but I'm not usually inclined to experiment on my own!**

Cauliflower Chowder

4 slices bacon, diced

2 tbsp. unsalted butter

2 cloves garlic, minced

1 onion, diced

2 carrots, peeled and diced

2 stalks celery, diced

1/4 cup all-purpose flour

4 cups chicken broth

1 cup 2% milk

1 head cauliflower, roughly chopped

1 bay leaf

Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper, to taste

2 tbsp. chopped fresh parsley leaves

Heat a large skillet over medium high heat. Add bacon and cook until brown and crispy, about 6-8 minutes. Transfer to a paper towel-lined plate; set aside.

 Melt butter in a large stockpot or Dutch oven over medium heat. Add garlic, onion, carrots and celery. Cook, stirring occasionally, until tender, about 3-4 minutes. Stir in cauliflower and bay leaf. Cook, stirring occasionally, until tender, about 3-4 minutes.

 Whisk in flour until lightly browned, about 1 minute. Gradually whisk in chicken broth and milk, and cook, whisking constantly, until slightly thickened, about 3-4 minutes.

 Bring to a boil; reduce heat and simmer until cauliflower are tender, about 12-15 minutes; season with salt and pepper, to taste. If the chowder is too thick, add more milk as needed until desired consistency is reached. Serve immediately, garnished with bacon and parsley, if desired.

THE VERDICT: It was nearly impossible to make the rue with all those veggies in the pot, so next time I'm going to do it in a separate pot and then add to veggie pot. But this turned out AMAZING! Jake's not a cauliflower fan, and even he loved it. It was surprisingly more filling than we were expecting. And tastes even more delicious with some cheddar cheese sprinkled on top!

My Trip Home

As I said in my previous post, this past week I took a trip back to California. My Nana passed away on Wednesday, and Thursday night my mom and I decided that I would fly home Friday, which meant I would have to take the Salt Lake Express that morning leaving at 8 am. I rushed around the house packing, with Jake's help, and then we settled in for the night so that I could hopefully get a good night of sleep before all the traveling began. 

Jake wasn't able to come with me because it was such short notice and we need him working right now anyways, so it was our first time apart since we were married. Our goodbye on Friday morning was done quickly so neither of us would have time to start crying, but it was still extremely hard. And the five hour bus ride to the Salt Lake City airport wasn't exactly a party, either. Once I arrived at the airport, I checked my luggage and headed over to my gate, and got some lunch along the way ($12 for that stupid airport lunch...ugh!) My flight was delayed, but only for an hour, and then I was on my way to Burbank, California. My mom picked me up from there and we headed back towards my parents' home.

If felt--and still feels--very weird, knowing that my home is now with Jake in Idaho. Before, when I took trips, coming back to my parents' home in California felt like taking a weight off of my shoulders and feeling like things were finally back to normal again. But this time, it didn't feel like that. I didn't feel awkward or uncomfortable or anything like that, but it definitely didn't feel like home. It was SO good to see my family again after being apart for six months, and seeing how much my siblings have grown. While I've been gone Alex has turned eight and been baptized, and Will turned 16 and became a priest, and when I was at my home ward on Sunday I got to see him bless the sacrament, which was very special to me.

The weekend was spent helping out around the house, visiting with one of my best friends, and spending time with my siblings. I played wiffle ball in the backyard with Alex for a little while, and thankfully he told me "Don't worry, I'll go easy on you" so I didn't get beaten TOO badly. That kid cracks me up, I miss him so much!

On Monday, I began my project for the funeral--photo boards. Mom and I went to Joann's and got some thick poster boards for me to use, and then I began gathering photos from Nana's life to display. One board I titled "Louise Dix," for photos before she was married. The next was "Louise Golberg 'Mom'," for when she was married to my grandpa, and became a mother. And the last one was titled "Nana," for photos of her with her four grandchildren; my siblings and I. They turned out really beautiful, and I got a lot of compliments on the hard work I put into them when people were walking around the room we had decorated with memorabilia from Nana's life. 

Tuesday was the funeral, and it was a very long and emotionally overwhelming day. I miss my Nana so much, and seeing how many people she touched throughout her life just made  it more difficult to not be sad. My mom and Uncle Eric spoke at the service in the chapel, and then there was a beautiful graveside service at the cemetery. I'm so so grateful for the knowledge that I'll see Nana again in the next life. While she and my grandpa were never married in the temple and my Nana never went through the temple for herself because she didn't want to go without my grandpa, I know that in a year when we're able to do her temple work, it will be done. I'm so thankful for the temple and our ability to do our own family history work, so that we never have to truly say goodbye to our loved ones!

I was up VERY early on Wednesday morning for my 7 am flight back to Utah, and from there took the Salt Lake Express back to Rexburg. I got home just before five, and I felt that relief I talked about earlier the second I walked through the door into our little apartment. Jake got home from work soon after, and we were so happy to see each other!! I think we'd both forgotten how difficult our relationship used to be, when we were doing things long-distance and hardly got to spend time together in person. It's definitely renewed our appreciation for our marriage.

Since I've been home, I've been resting up and unpacking from my trip, and getting back into the swing of things here in Idaho. On Saturday we had our "date night" and played Rock Band, which was a lot of fun. I played the drums and did pretty well, even though I played on the easy level so that's not exactly a big deal haha.

Today Jake and I went to Stake Conference, and then spent the day together. We watched some movies and finally cleaned out the car...which we haven't done since before our wedding haha. Overall it was a really nice day.

This Week's Spiritual Thought

As I said earlier, today was Stake Conference for our area. The talks given were all really great, and seemed to focus on enduring trials and making the most of the experiences we have in this life. One of our leaders read this poem in his talk. I hadn't heard it for a while, and it really struck me today, so I thought I'd share it.

Good Timber by Douglas Malloch

The tree that never had to fight
For sun and sky and air and light,
But stood out in the open plain
And always got its share of rain,
Never became a forest king
But lived and died a scrubby thing.

The man who never had to toil
To gain and farm his patch of soil,
Who never had to win his share
Of sun and sky and light and air,
Never became a manly man
But lived and died as he began.

Good timber does not grow with ease:
The stronger wind, the stronger trees;
The further sky, the greater length;
The more the storm, the more the strength.
By sun and cold, by rain and snow,
In trees and men good timbers grow.

Where thickest lies the forest growth,
We find the patriarchs of both.
And they hold counsel with the stars
Whose broken branches show the scars
Of many winds and much of strife.
This is the common law of life.