Bittersweet Week

This week was a busy one with the fair every single day. It was exhausting being out in that heat for so many hours, but it was fun getting to spend time with family.

This week I also lost my Papa, after a long and painful battle with Alzheimer's. He's been "gone" mentally for several years, so in some ways I had already said my goodbyes to him. It's a relief knowing that he's no longer suffering or confused by daily routine or people who he's known for a long time seeming like strangers to him. I'm so grateful for the fun memories I have with him, and the passion we both share for music, Disney (he worked for them for several years), books, and roses. Every time I see a rose, I think of my Papa and his beautiful garden that he treated like one of his own children. He spent more time in the backyard taking care of that garden than most people I know would care to do. At least once a week, he would go out into the garden in the early morning or evening (he taught me that this is the best time to pick roses) and gather a few blooms to bring in for my Nana to put in a vase. Their love is something that inspires me daily in my own marriage.

However, this week was also a great one because today Jake and I have been married for one whole year! It's crazy to think that it's been a year since we were sealed for time and eternity in the Los Angeles Temple. It feels like so much longer, but in some ways it also feels like we've only been married a month or two. Time is a strange thing.

This Week's Spiritual Thought

My Nana and Papa (aka Louise and Tom) in the 1950s, shortly
after they were married

Even though my grandparents weren't married in the temple because my Papa isn't LDS, I know that families are forever. Next summer, I'll be helping my family do the temple work that's necessary to seal my grandparents together so that they can be husband and wife in heaven. After over 60 years of marriage on earth, I think they'd be pretty happy to know that they get to spend eternity in heaven with each other! It just wouldn't be heaven without being able to be with your loved ones.

One Year Down, Eternity to Go

To see more wedding photos, check out our wedding tab here on the blog!

One year ago today, Jake and I were sealed for time and all eternity in the Los Angeles Temple. The past year has held quite a few adventures for us, some good and some bad, but we wouldn't have it any other way!

Since this day last year, we have:
-spent our honeymoon in San Diego, California

-moved twice (and truly discovered how much stuff we own...it's ridiculous)

-read The Book of Mormon once
-discovered our favorite things to do together: cook, watch our favorite TV shows (Criminal Minds, Bones, and Supernatural), read to each other, and of course cuddle!

-learned that we need two blankets on our bed every night (because I'm a cover hog)
-traveled to Texas to spend time with Jake's family

Eternal Marriage Matters

If I had to sum it up in a few words, I would leave it at this: eternal marriage is worth the wait.

I am grateful every day that I made the choice years ago to wait for a temple marriage. I set goals for myself, and for my future spouse. I'm thankful that I found a worthy guy who not only holds the priesthood, but is loving, kind, goofy, responsible, and going to make a wonderful father someday. And when I wake up next to him every morning and realize that I can keep this man for eternity...I can't even describe how precious that knowledge is to me. Our marriage isn't perfect, but through prayer and scripture study together, we're learning day by day how to overcome our pride or shortcomings and work together to solve our problems.

There are going to be times where you feel like you aren't meant to get married, or that you don't have the option to marry someone else LDS. But I promise that that is NOT true! 

Convincing us that we are unable to get married in the temple is just another way that Satan makes us feel worthless, and pulls us farther away from Heavenly Father. Don't let him win. Never let yourself believe that you are not worth a temple marriage, because you are. No matter what your past holds. The Atonement is there to make us clean again; to give us the opportunity to enter the temple again. 

Everyone deserves to find that special person who will love them not only for every day of this earthly life, but for every day of eternity. 

Keep pressing forward, keep working towards a temple marriage. You will find your eternal companion someday, and it'll all be worth it. I promise.

Overcoming My Pride

Those who know me well know that it was never my intention to get married young. I even had a habit of looking down on or pitying those girls who got married fresh out of high school, or even while in college, because their lives seemed so stressful. Plus marriage was a big decision, why rush? Take your time, date while you're in school, and THEN get married. It seemed like that would make things a lot easier.

Here's a picture of me at my high school graduation in 2010

When Jake and I started dating I knew there was something different about him, as cheesy as that may sound. And when I started praying about marrying him, I discovered something very quickly: I was going to have to swallow my pride and admit that I had been wrong about the best time for me to get married. 

It was an extremely difficult process for me to admit that I had to give up my plan (school, then marriage) because it wasn't what God had in mind for me. I'm grateful that even though I'm a stubborn person, I was able to change the path I was on in order to do what was right. And once I made that decision, my stubbornness became a strength because no one else could convince me that I was making the wrong choice!

The moral of the story is this: never tell God you've got your life completely figured out, because chances are pretty good that there's something unexpected waiting in the wings. I'm so glad I gave my unexpected change a chance, and married Jake!

People say that the first year of marriage is the hardest. While our first year hasn't been a piece of cake and Jake and I have definitely had our struggles, it hasn't been as difficult as I was anticipating. So if things only go up from here, I can't wait to see what the future years of marriage have in store for us!

Our First Full Week in Texas

This week was our first full one in Texas, and holy cow (there's even a cow mentioned later) it was busy!

Monday morning we went over to Jake's grandparents' house and prepared dough for the upcoming North Texas Fair and Rodeo that we would be working. Later that day Jake and I went swimming with his three youngest siblings and his mom, and it was so much fun! It was our first time EVER swimming together, because we've never been close enough to a pool to enjoy it together. I've missed swimming so much! The rest of the week was spent preparing for the fair, relaxing in the glorious air conditioning (just FYI: it is HOT in Texas, if you didn't already know that).

Look at that saggy neck!

On Thursday we set up our booth on the fairgrounds, and Friday it was opening day! It was fun looking around the fairgrounds and seeing what kinds of booths other people had, and seeing all the different kinds of animals. There was a cow there that Jake and I named Bertha who was the saddest looking cow I have ever seen. She looked much too old to still be attending these kinds of events...poor old thing!

I helped cut and hand out pizzas, and it was a lot of work but very rewarding. The fair didn't start until six that evening, so most of our work was cooler since the sun set fairly soon after that. We all came home tired, hot, and dirty around one am. Jake and I both slept like rocks that night!

Saturday was another fair day. The gates opened at one pm and didn't close until one am, so it was going to be a VERY long day. We went over to the grounds around noon and set up some of the things we put away the night before, and then the fair started. It wasn't as busy as it had been on Friday, but it was MUCH hotter. I ended up needing to go home around six because I was so tired and shaky from the heat that I could barely stand any longer.

Today is going to be another day spent working the fair, but after the rest (and cold shower) I got yesterday I should do much better today!

I Love to See the Temple

Exactly one year ago today, I went through the Los Angeles Temple to receive my endowments. I remember being extremely nervous, since I'd had friends go through the temple and say that it was very overwhelming at first. A lot of people gave me the advice to not worry about remembering everything, but to focus on how I felt and the Spirit. I'm really grateful I listened!

Along with receiving my endowments, going through the temple meant that I would now wear garments under my clothing. This was a very special and important step towards being ready to be married in the temple, and also because this meant that I was progressing closer to Heavenly Father and understanding what He wants for me. Wearing these garments has helped me to remember my temple covenants daily, and to strive to live a modest life physically as well as spiritually.

I'm so grateful that I was able to go through the temple when I did, and that I had the experiences that I was blessed with: both my mom and dad were able to come with me, and I was endowed in the same temple that each of them were, the same temple they were married in, and the temple that a little over a week later Jake and I would be sealed in. The Los Angeles Temple will always hold a special place in my heart!

Three Things I Wish I Understood Before Getting Married

In my opinion, you can know something without understanding it. You can grasp the concept of something, but not really understand what it means for you or your life. There are (at least) three things that I knew before Jake and I got married, but I don't think I truly understood. And while they may seem like "well, duh" concepts, think about whether or not you truly understand the consequences of these ideas, or if you simply know them.

One: All your problems, insecurities, and weaknesses won't magically go away once you get married.
I remember thinking back when I was in middle and high school that once I got married, I'd be happy with myself and I would never have to work on any of my weaknesses again, since I would be nearly perfect once I found a husband. I would be beautiful, smart, 100% organized, and never make any stupid choices. And that definitely sounds like a foolish mindset, but I'm sure I'm not alone in feeling that way. However, just because Jake thinks I'm incredible does not mean I always see myself that way. I still struggle with feeling imperfect, and I battle with my weaknesses like impatience and communication. In some ways it's become harder since I've gotten married because now I feel like if I'm not as great as I could be, I'm letting my husband down.

Two: You (and your spouse) will have to make your own choices, not just do what your parents have done.
The scriptures say that once you're married, you need to "cleave unto your spouse." To me this means that when Jake and I are making a decision we need to decide together what we should do, not just rely on the opinions of our parents and their (possibly) similar experiences. This has been something I've struggled with more than I anticipated. For 22 years, I was used to calling my mom and dad for advice on pretty much all situations. Changing my mindset from "Mom and Dad have the answer" to "Jake and I will come up with an answer together" is very very difficult.

Three: No matter what you do or say, there will always be people who disagree with the way you and your spouse "handle" your marriage.
Everyone has differing opinions on the qualities that make a good marriage. Some of them are truly necessary: love, respect, and patience, to name a few. But other smaller qualities aren't so necessary, and because every relationship functions differently, may not be a good idea for some couples. The choices Jake and I make as husband and wife (such as the decision to not have kids yet) are poked and prodded at by certain people. But when it comes down to it, our marriage is none of your business. The only people who have the right to know what is going on are God, Jake and I. And while it's tempting to seek the approval of others, especially in today's world so driven by "likes" and comments on social media posts, approval from others is not necessary.

Welcome to Texas!

This week Jake and I spent our last few days in Idaho before beginning our trip to spend a month with Jake's family in Texas! This is my first time ever visiting Texas, so I was pretty excited to travel somewhere new and have some adventures.

Jake and I packed up all the stuff we'd need, cleaned our apartment, and set out on Wednesday morning to Utah! We drove from Rexburg to the Ogden area, and dropped off a package for my friend Hermana Pecjak who's serving in the Ogden Utah Mission. Then we met up with some of our friends from Twitter Stake (a group of LDS kids that use Twitter) at the In n Out in Ogden. I was so happy to have a little taste of California again! And it was so fun seeing friends and just laughing and spending time with them. We spent Wednesday afternoon and night at Jake's Uncle David's house, relaxing and getting ready for the early morning we were about to have.


Thursday morning we were up at 3 am to get out to Salt Lake City for our 6 am flight. It was NOT fun waking up that early, but since it was such an early flight we saved a lot of money on the tickets. We flew out to Dallas and Jake's dad and three of his siblings picked us up, and they brought their two new puppies!! Cooter and Sheriff are half Coonhound and the other half Australian Shepherd and Rottweiler. They're so adorable! It's funny how quiet our apartment is, compared to being here in a house with six other people and two puppies. There's NEVER a quiet or dull moment, and the kids have me laughing pretty much 24/7. It's fun being around a big group of family again!

Saturday I helped out with Jake's parent's pizza catering business, Fire in the Hole Wood-Fired Pizza! They catered a birthday party and the whole family went. I helped cut the pizzas as well as put toppings on, and it was pretty fun! It was pretty hot outside, but thankfully we were in the shade. So no sunburn for pasty white me! Hooray!

This Week's Spiritual Thought

Sunday Jake and I went to church with his family, and it was a nice reminder to me of how the Church is true no matter where you go. Things are always slightly different because every ward or stake runs certain things in their own way, but the core principles and values are always the same. Even if the speakers have a thick Southern accent and half of the congregation is wearing cowboy boots!

Online Dating

With apps like Tinder and many others, the whole online dating scene is becoming a pretty big thing. And there are a LOT of mixed feelings about this topic, especially from older generations. They tend to have an extremely negative view about dating online, and are (obnoxiously) vocal about it. They say that nothing good can ever come of it, that you're not even talking to the person you think you are, etc. 

Let me be blunt: these people need to get their heads out of their butts and out into the real world. 

When the internet first started and chat rooms became a thing, yes they were very dangerous. Webcams were uncommon, and Facebook and other social media weren't even around/popular, so it was easy for people to pretend to be someone they weren't. In 2015 with the way technology has progressed, it's nearly impossible for someone to disguise themselves, as long as we're all taking the right precautions.

I'm a HUGE advocate for online dating/friendships, and you know why? Jake and I met online. Through Facebook, yes, so it wasn't as "scandalous" as it could have been, but still. People are either pleasantly surprised when we share this information, or they're completely put off from ever speaking to us again. And I find that SO SAD. Just because the first time I spoke to my spouse was through a computer screen doesn't make our love any less real or "right."

Here's a picture of Jake and I on our first weekend together
in person, after talking online (Facebook, Skype, etc) for 3
months

Countless church leaders have spoken about the power for good (and for evil) that the internet holds, and I believe that online dating is just another one of those opportunities. I've heard countless horror stories about online dates gone horribly wrong, creepy messages or cyber-stalkers, and so much more. While those are common, there are so many good opportunities on these sites! We have an opportunity to share the gospel, or to find other LDS people who we may never have met in person. Jake and I definitely would not have met if it hadn't been for the LDS Facebook group that we were both members of; he lived in Texas, and I was in California.

Let me conclude by saying this: just because a couple met online doesn't mean they aren't a good match. If anything, they might be a better match than some couples that meet in person: people that meet online tend to be more likely to share common interests and get to know each others' personalities before seeing the physical side of things.

Our First Dance

The song that played for our first dance as husband and wife was "Forever Like That" by Ben Rector. Jake and I chose this song because the first time we heard it, we both fell in love with it. The message is beautiful, and when we were dating long distance it was one of our favorite songs to listen to together. 

Well I'll be your rainy day lover. Whenever the sunny days end.

And whatever the weather, we have each other.

And that's how the story will end.

Well I'll be your shade tree in summer,

If you'll be my fire when it's cold.

And whatever the season, well, we'll keep on breathing.

Cause we'll have each other to hold.

I'll hold you-and I'll sing.

I wanna love you, forever I do.

I wanna spend all of my days with you.

I'll carry your burdens and be the wind at your back.

I wanna spend my forever-forever like that.

Well I'll be the words on the pages,

If you'll be my sweet melody.

And the tune can keep changing, cause I'll keep arranging.

And this is the song that we'll sing.

We'll sing ooo

I wanna love you, forever I do.

I wanna spend all of my days with you.

I'll carry your burdens and be the wind at your back.

I wanna spend my forever-forever like that.

When the rain comes, I'll be your shelter.

When the winds blow, we'll be together.

When the storms they rise, I'll be right here by your side.

And I'll sing:

I'm gonna love you, forever I do.

I'm gonna spend all my days with you.

I'll carry your burdens and be the wind at your back.

I'm gonna spend my forever-forever like that.

Nothin' All That Special

This week was a pretty quiet one for Jake and I. Jake spent his days at work as usual, and I stayed at home working on craft projects (like lots of embroidery), watching TV, writing letters to my missionary friends, and other stuff like that.

The weather here in Rexburg over the summer is still SO weird to me: we've had a lot of random thunderstorms and rainshowers over the past few weeks, and this past week was no different.

On Friday Jake and I went on a "real" date for the first time in a while! We went to dinner and then did a little shopping before going to see the movie Paper Towns at the discount theater here in Rexburg. We'd read the book together a few months ago (by John Green) and had mixed feelings about it, but we'd heard good things about the movie so decided to go. This was one of those rare occasions where we both loved the movie more than the book!

Sundays are always my favorite day of the week, because Jake and I get to spend the entire day together. We went to church and spent time together at home watching some movies, playing card games, and cuddling of course!

This Week's Spiritual Thought

I finally finished reading Psalms! The last chapter, Psalms 150, was a really beautiful way to end the book:

"Praise ye the Lord. Praise God in his sanctuary: praise him in the firmament of his power.
"Praise him for his mighty acts: praise him according to is excellent greatness.
"Praise him with the sound of the trumpet: praise him with the psaltery and harp.
"Praise him with the timbrel and dance: praise him with stringed instruments and organs.
"Praise him upon the loud cymbals: praise him upon the high sounding cymbals.
"Let every thing that hath breath praise the Lord. Praise ye the Lord.

Soulmates

Happy August! Since this is the month that Jake and I got married, all of my posts will be related to relationships, marriage, etc. You get the idea.

So, soulmates: real or fake?

There are a lot of general authorities who have spoken about this, and within the church it's usually a general belief that soulmates don't exist. 

"I don't believe there is only one right person for you. I think I fell in love with my wife, Harriett, from the first moment I saw her. Nevertheless,...I don't believe she was my one chance at happiness in this life, nor was I hers...Once you commit to being married, your spouse becomes your soul mate, and it is your duty and responsibility to work every day to keep it that way." 
-President Uchtdorf 

That statement pretty much sums up my opinion on soul mates. While I believe there are certain people that I could have never married and gotten along with, I think it's possible for almost any two people to make a marriage work if they both have their hearts in the right place, and a strong relationship with God. No marriage is ever perfect, but the trials couples go through can be overcome through prayer and scripture study, especially when they're done as a couple. Strengthening your relationship with God together strengthens your bond as husband and wife: God is like the glue that holds us together.

Being Sick is Super Exciting

This week was a pretty uneventful one. Jake worked a lot, and I hung out at home catching up on more reading and doing some crafts. Since I was still feeling sick, I was pretty much cooped up in the house every day. SUPER fun. (Hopefully you can tell that's sarcasm).

My latest embroidery creation! It took about
15 hours total.

Very early Thursday I woke up with a KILLER sore throat, and Jake looked down my throat with a flashlight...and it was strep. Even though I just had it in February. I told Jake with this kind of luck, I should enter the lottery! Later that day we went to the doctor's and got a prescription, and day by day I've been feeling better. I'm SO thankful for modern medicine!

This Week's Spiritual Thought

Jake and I discovered through this cool feature called Relative Finder that we are 12th cousins 2 times removed...gross! Haha. It's distant enough that it really doesn't matter, but it's cracking us up. I've always wondered if we were related since both of us have sides of our families that tie back to the country Whales, and it's a pretty small country, so it really doesn't surprise me. Family history is COOL!